Giles Coren is a C*nt and this is why.

[www.timesonline.co.uk]


Earnings last tour £86m; biggest single audience 1.5m; A&E visits 1

Bourgeois posers who do nothing but get their end away, says Giles Coren

Forgive me for asking this — I am 103 and thus not old enough to remember — but were the Rolling Stones ever cool? Because I can’t for the life of me imagine how they could have been. Even when they were young, they were greedy, bourgeois posers in stupid clothes. Since then, all they’ve done is got scrawnier and wrinklier, and poked their frantic little penises into young girls who don’t know any better.

I can’t imagine that anybody ever liked their music — that ghoulish, middle-class, white-boy pastiche of R&B, such an insult to the tradition of the blues. Such a fraudulent exploitation of a noble idiom by ambitious young breadheads. How can a man who went to the LSE stand there and sing: “I can’t get no satisfaction”? Mick Jagger doesn’t talk like that. He is the Al Jolson of rock: a grim parody of black entertainment performed for the smug enjoyment of the tittering classes.

And the lifestyle has always been more rotten than the music: the glorification of casual sex, the drug-taking, the partying, the indulgence of every vacuous and diseased aspect of an indolent and unrestrained life that the Stones’ particular corner of popular culture celebrates so unremittingly.

I hate that preposterous grunter Richards who fell out of the coconut tree. Do not ask what a human being was doing climbing a coconut tree; ask what a monkey has been doing all these years playing a guitar.


I hate those women they hang out with. All those ex- and current wives, with their rictus grins and big cash settlements. And I hate Bill Wyman, even though he’s not even in the band any more, for marrying a woman who caught his eye when she was 13. And I hate all the airhead offspring, with their fashion lines and their parties and their daft-arse hippie posturing from the starting point of vast ill-gotten wealth.

Most of all, I hate the way every time a member of the Rolling Stones is the subject of a newspaper article, the headline is always, always, some dreadful pun on one of their song titles. Charlie Watts accidentally drops his underpants in the loo and it’s “Jumpin’ Jock Flush!”; Keith Richards endorses a range of smooth-edged furniture, and it’s “Sympathy for the Bevel”. It’s only rock’n’roll — not to mention antisocial attitudes, sexual incontinence and repetitive thundering dross — but I hate it.


So whoever wants to post here please do so I can forward your remarks to Giles f**kin twatface Coren....apparently he's a writer/ restaurant critic. What does he know about one of the most influential bands of the 20th century? Screw all, that's what....@#$%&.

NickB

It's moronic that one of his reasons for hating the Stones is because of the stupid headlines on the newspaper articles. I agree, it's totally cheesy, but how is it their faults? He should give crap to the newspapers instead, but since they are the hand that feeds him, he's too much of a pussy to say what he really means.

Giles believes he's witty. Well, he is half right on that score. This type of sorry whining has dogged the boys since their inception. Methinks Mr. Coren sounds a tad envious.

So he makes up untrue news stories in order to create his own dreadful corny headlines which are even unfunnier than the real ones. And only a bourgeois poser would decribe the blues as a "noble idiom". What point is he actually trying to make? That if the Stones are a cess pool he is quite happily splashing about in their puddles?

The fact that you actually have to explain who he is says a lot. If he is a restaurant critic I presume that means he had no talent as either a chef or restaurant owner. So he turned his hand to being a restaurant critic which he is so bad at he then turns to writing about music. Hard to see what is left for him, every in supposed to be talented at something but eventually you have to just give it up. I wouldn't eat my chips off it.

tylerdurden2001 Wrote:
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> And only a bourgeois poser would decribe the blues as a
> "noble idiom".

Touché.

Yeah i read this today and it really pissed me off. Anyone with the name of Giles needs a slap anyway...

He is a cock.

What's your favourite flavour?...........Cherry Red!!

This guy deserves a firm dick in the ear.

Jumpin'JackFrash Wrote:
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> This guy deserves a firm dick in the ear.


HAHAHA!

Reminds me of that scene in Goodfellas at 'Maurie's Wigs'. F*ck him in the ear... F*ck him in the other ear...!!"

What's your favourite flavour?...........Cherry Red!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-10-09 01:53 by Mr Jimmy.

Another talentless attention-seeking prick . He's at the back of a long queue. Ignore him and he'll crawl back into the shithole he emerged from.

Next!

He's a moronic and talentless oaf who takes the soft option of earning an easy crust by dissing those with a high public profile - a profile that he's pathetically trying to achieve for himself through such attention-seeking pieces of "journalism". A @#$%& of the highest order.

Not very thought provoking eh? This kind of article isn't new and poor journalism really...... with everything going on in the world is this article really neccassary? Does it achieve anything? Just a lazy journo filling up his column inches...... very poor!

Read this yesterday and laughed at the fool who wrote it. The thing about critics is that the work they throw rocks at will outlast them.

Bloody funny though!...Lighten up, remember for the vast majority of people out there that would be hard pressed to name 2 Stones songs, for them, they are just "celebs"..Unlike us, who inhabit this and other fan sites, who can tell someone what was played on any given day, in any month of any year, in what key etc etc..

Jumpin'JackFrash Wrote:
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> This guy deserves a firm dick in the ear.


I truly couldn't have said it better myself. What a complete jerk.

JumpingKentFlash

I have to question the integrity of a "journalist" who continually uses the words "I hate...". Enough said.

Maybe its envy.Maybe he wants to stick his frantic little penis into an actual female.Or male.Or gorilla.Or,......ANYTHING.He is pathetic....but the Jumpin Jock Flush comment is funny!

Pleased to meet you......

The guy is a "critic" which to me means he doesn't do anything. He sits down and writes about others who are actually doing something. I don't mind criticism even negative if it is based on facts. When it is only subjective, it is worthless; but here I am turning myself into a critic.
Mops

C**t

[...won't waste any more words on 'im ;^) ]

He obviously has never been to a Stones show. Also, he sounds sexually confused and frustrated.

If he deliveres his restaurant critics with the same lack of accuracy as the "Stones analysis", we'll all die from salmonella infections after visiting the restaurants he recomends... Dear, dear. How did he get that job? He leaves me with the same feeling as I get when I se a tall ship (miniature) inside a bottle. "Yes, blo**y he*l, I can see you're there, but how the f**k did you get there..."

I'd never heard of him until yesterday, but he truly does have a face you'd never get tired of punching....

a pompous celibate

Like many others, this guy claims the Stones' music is a "pastiche", or imitation, of the blues. Sure they started out copying American blues artists, but it was their ability to take it to another level that has insured their place in music history. It is ridiculous to say otherwise. Name me a blues artist who ever wrote anything like Honky Tonk Women or Brown Sugar.

The jerk did teach me a new word: rictus


Main Entry: ric·tus
Pronunciation: 'rik-t&s
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Latin, open mouth, from ringi to open the mouth; akin to Old Church Slavic rogu mockery
1 : the gape of a bird's mouth
2 a : the mouth orifice b : a gaping grin or grimace

Oh dear! He didn't get laid the night before he wrote that. That's for sure. In the photo, he's trying to put on the "philosophical, intellectual look". A total failure. He looks exactly the way I could see him after having read what he wrote. An unhappy clown.

And he's described by his own father as being a particularly evil child!

[en.wikipedia.org]

Who gives a fat F*** what this dickless wonder thinks about ANYTHING, especially the Stones!? I think I will write to him on my own! It will give me SATISFACTION!

Elmo Lewis Wrote:
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> He obviously has never been to a Stones show.
> Also, he sounds sexually confused and frustrated.


No shit!

from wikipedia :

In 2005, Coren's novel Winkler won the Bad Sex in Fiction Award for the worst description of sex. The passage he was awarded for ended with the sentence fragment "Like Zorro" which seems to be gaining a status as an internet meme

Does anyone else want ads some foul mouthed vitriol? You're all welcome.

NickB

ps He looks a smug twat in the photo Gazza posted that needs a good kicking!!!

Also from Wikipedia "and has recently sold his first novel, Winkler."

Seems like he is dyslexic as well

Says he "ghost-wrote the autobiography of James Dyson". So, here we go - talentless, shallow twerp with nothing whatsoever to say about anything at all. Anyone under 40, living outside a cave on the Afghan-Pakistan border, with a full beard obviously has masculinity issues or really foockin bad skin.

And he lifted that line about Jagger being the Al Johnson of rock straight from "Old Gods Almost Hammered", the kont.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2006-10-14 00:15 by Nikolai.