Not sure if this one has been on here.Pretty long but a terrific read...

The Times (London)

October 15, 2010 Friday
Edition 1;
National Edition

'I don't want to see my old friend Lucifer just yet';
To introduce the exclusive serialisation of his memoir, which begins in The Times tomorrow, Keith Richards talks to Caitlin Moran about the girls, the drugs and his rift with Jagger (and the truth about Mick's manhood)

BYLINE: Caitlin Moran

SECTION: T2;FEATURES; Pg. 4,5,6,7,8

LENGTH: 5024 words


I meet Keith Richards on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. It feels only right to inform him of this.


"International Talk Like a Pirate Day?" Richards says, with his wolfy grin, wholly amused. "Arrrghh! Arrrhhh! Oh, I can't do it without the eyepatch," he sighs, mock-petulantly. "I can't speak like a pirate without an eyepatch. Or being pissed - Hargh! Hargh!" But of course, he can: to be frank, everything Keith Richards says is in the cadence of Pirate. With his black eyes, bandanna and earring, even at 67, he has the air of a rakish gentleman forced to steal a frigate and abscond from polite society - due to some regrettable misunderstanding about a virgin daughter, a treasure map and a now-smouldering Admiralty building. You can see why he was the inspiration for Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. Richards apparently taught Depp how to walk around a corner, drunk: "You keep your back to the wall at all times."


Today, Richards is a pirate in onshore mode. The mood is tavernish. Even though we are in the Royal Suite at Claridge's, which has a grand piano ("Shall I have a go? You can bootleg it - hargh! hargh! hargh!") and so many rooms that we never even go in half of them, Richards still brings an air of a man who has left his parrot, cutlass and Smee in the hallway - lest he need to make a quick getaway. On walking into the room he spots me and does a double-take.

"I had no idea I was going to talk to a lady," he says, ordering a vodka and orange. "I need a drink when I do that."

Spotting a packet of Marlboro on the table, he eschews them and brings out his own supplies.

"Those are the ones that say they'll kill you," he says, pointing at the pack on the table with its large "Smoking kills" label. "They are English, and they would kill you; they're bloody awful."

"Are they different to American ones?" I ask.

"Oh yes. You take them apart, if you're going to roll a hash joint, and there's bits of stalk and crap in there. It's unacceptable to a smoker."

He takes one of his own out of his pocket and lights it. The smell of the smoke mingles with his cologne.

"What have you got on?" I inquire.

"I've got a hard-on - I didn't know you could smell it," he says - and then starts laughing again, in a fug of smoke. "That's a rock'n'roll joke - one of Jerry Lee Lewis's," he explains, almost apologetically. "We're at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame, and Jerry's got his rig on - frilly shirt and tuxedo - and he's coming down the steps, and this chick rushed out and was like: 'You smell great - what have you got on?' And Jerry says: 'I've got a hard on - I didn't know you could smell it.' Pure rock'n'roll."

Keith takes another drag on his fag, beaming.

"'Ere," he says, suddenly concerned, looking at the cigarette smoke. "I hope you're not... allergic."

.....




I didn't put the inappropriate smilies in btw,they just appeared when i copy and pasted the article.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 2011-02-28 19:59 by bv.

"Here's John Lennon - "Johnny. A silly sod, in many ways""

I knew it. I KNEW IT!

Thx for the post! Nice interview!

"When you get laid by Anita Pallenberg for the first time, you remember things."
QUOTE OF THE WEEK! ><

Yep. Great interview indeed! Can't wait to get my hands on the book!

many thanks for posting

a hugely entertaining read.

I love Keith's mother, Doris: "You're out of tune." That's one of my best memories, watching Keith in the Rossacher/Dolezal movie 1976 playing guitar. Out of tune. But always in rhythm. That's the Stones I need.

'Perhaps you keep coming back to Anita and Mick, I suggest to Richards, because as an artist, there's nothing to say about the people you love and understand. It's the ones who mystify you that you need to write songs and books about.

'That's how you try to figure them out.'

That's rather poignant. I haven't read the book yet, but for all the nasty things he says about Mick, there seems to be an underlying need for his friend's attention or love. I know that sounds corny, but I really believe Keith is still that shy, lonely kid with big ears who got bullied and who still misses the only friend he ever had.

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stupidguy2
I know that sounds corny, but I really believe Keith is still that shy, lonely kid with big ears who got bullied and who still misses the only friend he ever had.

sg2, or the best friend he ever had. Recently Keith has talked about how he wished he could have converted Mick back to friendship, not the exact words.

"...And, at the centre of it all, arguably the greatest rock'n'roll band that ever existed..."

For sure

Gonna start to read LIFE right now.
See ya later...

HMN

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angee

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stupidguy2
I know that sounds corny, but I really believe Keith is still that shy, lonely kid with big ears who got bullied and who still misses the only friend he ever had.

sg2, or the best friend he ever had. Recently Keith has talked about how he wished he could have converted Mick back to friendship, not the exact words.

Exactly. Mick is historically guarded in his personal relationships. Even his women can't figure him out. Keith needed Mick to be more of a "mate" - but maybe Mick is just not that kind of guy, who needs the same kind of closeness, devotion or whatever. They love each other, but they both need different things. I always knew Mick and Keith had a complex relationship, but Keith's recent comments really highlight just how intense a relationsip these two share. Keith can forgive Anita, but Mick remains something of a prickly (no pun intended) matter. If anything, it just makes thier magic, their music and collaboration that more profound. This ain't Townshend and Daltrey, this is something deeper than just two business parters or musicians. They really are soul brothers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010-10-29 01:59 by stupidguy2.

Thanks for posting that!

As far as Marianne's Mick comments, I once saw Pamela Des Barres (I'M WITH THE BAND author) on a talk show and the female interviewer asked her "Is Mick good in bed?" And Pamela leaned energetically forward, and with great enthusiasm exclaimed, "YES!!"

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still ill
During our whole chat, the only time he seems roused to genuine annoyance is when I ask him what I think might be the most amazing question of my entire journalistic career. Thanks to a meeting at a party last year, I am able to say to Keith Richards "Keith. I met Noddy Holder last year, and he's convinced you wear a wig."


"Not yet!" he says, looking genuinely indignant. "Hey man, what's his problem with wigs?" "He thinks both you and Mick wear them," I say with mock disapproval.

"Get out of here!" Richards roars. He pulls down his bandanna and shows me his hair - grey, a little wispy, but looking undeniably real. "Hey, Noddy, you know, there are more important things in life than hair. Mick definitely doesn't wear a wig. I know! I've pulled it! What's Noddy's problem?" "I think Noddy's just very proud he's still got a gigantic afro," I offer.

"Well, that's about all he's got," Richards says sniffily. "Well done, Nod."

Wigs now come with bald spots.