I work for a private airline company. My job isn't much fun once it was different ,at the airport of the island of Wight, in June 2007.
I am waiting for the greatest rock group of the world.

Remarks collected by Maxime Gautier - Paris Match .Translation : Sway :-)))

Around 1 a.m,my legs start to tremble: here “they” come .
Musicians, roadies, advisers and ten bodyguards look peaky by discovering the plane, an old American charter, and not a luxurious jet.
“If they are also rich, it is because Mick does not throw money down the drain”, a member of staff whispers me. Everyone has its place. Underlings at the bottom, stars with the front one.
I must enter in scene for the procedures of safety. Actress, I should feel at ease, but my heart beats at the rythm of a rock'n'roll drum in front of this unusual audiance !

First surprise, a division curtain part the rockers : Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts on a side, Keith Richards and Ron Wood of the other. The exceptional longevity of the group explains this bulk-heading. Barcelona, Madrid, Belgrade… The flights follow one another and I feel more and more at ease. In particular with the two guitarists whom I call the happy grandpas: Keith and Ron. They correspond to the picture I had from them ,dressed with multicoloured scarves and flashy trousers
Keith looks like Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean”. But the man who claims to have held nine days and nine nights without sleeping clamed down a lot .
Its greatest eccentricity is its Orange vodka-Fanta than I prepare to him according to the recommendations of his bodyguard: “Pour Fanta in glass, then only one vodka tear, he will smell vodka and the amount will be decreased by it! ” As for Ron Wood, he begs the commander to let him smoke in the cockpit not to annoy “the Boss”, Mick Jagger.


Behind the curtain, Charlie Watts, the drummer , is impeccable/spotless in a Savile Row's costume , more british, you die. It spends his time buried in “Herald Tribune”, and speaks only about business with Mick. Is he a musician or a business man?
When he doesn't like something, he makes himself heard. The coffee on board is not appropriate to him, he orders two expresso coffe -machines . Time when they lived the five of them in a crummy apartment is over


Mick Jagger it is the pope. I am impressed by his behaviour. His trousers don't always fit him and his shirts are bit near old-fashioned . The worst are his shoes. Large tennis shoes with air bubbles . He never leaves them and requires that they are ready as soon he leaves the stage.

Mick never releases his green tea and I discover his personal dieticians! Each food is weighed. Veto of the experts on the sandwiches lawyer-salmon that he had asked for . For his birthday only ,he would have a small biscuit with pink frozen sugar, a heart pattern , accompanied by “Happy birthday Sir”… which owes me a furtive “Thank You” and a smile of circumstance. I understand better his size of his waist at his age!

After more than one month and half of stopovers and concerts, Ronnie takes me in his arms, Mick smiles me, Keith makes “jokes”. Charlie remains imperturbable.
During the last flight, after long embraces with my new pals, I look them to moving away on the footbridge. It looks like an album cover !
! While returning, on the motorway, the radio broadcasts “Angie "

[www.parismatch.com]

---

Obviously,she wasn't a hardcore fan



I am a Frenchie ,as Mick affectionately called them in the Old Grey Whistle Test in 1977 .



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010-05-07 11:26 by SwayStones.

thanks,

great story

Nice story, thanks

Keep On Rolling

Thanks for making the effort to translate the story for our pleasure.

Thanks!

Finally the screwdriver myth settled down! Only one vodka drop...

- Doxa

guess the @#$%& sex orgia is over nowadays.
politically correct era

"we know it's a bit late but we hope you don't mind if we stay"

Aha - the secret of Mick's diet and how he still keeps a 28 inch waist - a bit of salmon and a small biscuit with pink frozen sugar.

My thoughts exactly about the diet!

Nice translation job, Sway!!

great read, really enjoyed it

Thanks

Thanks...Fun story...

great read! thank you for translating and posting this! best pic of keith i've seen in years, he has a really natural appearance in that shot. guess his nuclear waste is quite a bit less "toxic" these days

doesn't look like Keith is wearing his wig on that flight....

Thanks, Sway....

Nice! Thanks!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Rolling Stones... Keith "Fanta" Richards, Mick "Green Tea" Jagger, and Charlie "Expresso" Watts...

Keeping Up the Appearances!

(But 'fortunately' there is Ronnie, the last true bad boy with nasty habits...)

- Doxa

"" Keith looks like Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean”. ""

erm, isn't it the other way around?

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dewlover
"" Keith looks like Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean”. ""

erm, isn't it the other way around?

...a beer for that one, Dewlover! spot-on!!

thx

Thanks. When I first read the title I thought uh oh, this is about the STP tour and if that's the title of her book...

One (serious) question : where is Daryl? Does he travel with the entourage, at the back of the plane, like any other hired hand?

"Behind the curtain, Charlie Watts, the drummer , is impeccable/spotless in a Savile Row's costume , more british, you die."

Brilliant - that's our Charlie...

Quote
dcba
One (serious) question : where is Daryl? Does he travel with the entourage, at the back of the plane, like any other hired hand?

Hired hands gotta ride the tour bus:

Hey you all !

Quote

Thanks for making the effort to translate the story for our pleasure.

My pleasure .

Your comments made me laugh ,especially yours,Doxa ,dcba & EG 's answer .

Quote
Wanton Witch of the Côte

Thanks. When I first read the title I thought uh oh, this is about the STP tour and if that's the title of her book...

In all seriousness , I was wondering if one of the Stones was once arrested in a plane like Jim Morrison did .I am quite surprised to find so few /such a few stories about the Stones ' behaviour in planes ....



I am a Frenchie ,as Mick affectionately called them in the Old Grey Whistle Test in 1977 .

Wonderful story, but she paints a picture of the modern day Stones that sounds bleak, boring, and depressing.

Why can't Keith tell her how to make his f-ucking drink himself, why does it have to go through the bodyguard? If she screws it up, does the bodyguard yell at her, by way of Keith, too?

I guess the days of talking to the common folk (ordering room service in C.S. Blues) is over for these guys.

A curtain separating Mick and Charlie from Ron and Keith?

You wonder why they don't show up together to promote things, like the Exile film in Cannes this year? There's your answer.

Nice.

Quote
boogie1969
Wonderful story, but she paints a picture of the modern day Stones that sounds bleak, boring, and depressing.

Why can't Keith tell her how to make his f-ucking drink himself, why does it have to go through the bodyguard? If she screws it up, does the bodyguard yell at her, by way of Keith, too?

I guess the days of talking to the common folk (ordering room service in C.S. Blues) is over for these guys.

A curtain separating Mick and Charlie from Ron and Keith?

You wonder why they don't show up together to promote things, like the Exile film in Cannes this year? There's your answer.

Nice.

I do agree that it seems over the top. Its a bit silly that the drink has to go through the bodyguard and that the curtain separates them. To be honest I thought the modern era tours would be like that, but its a bit of a downer to now know they are.

dear SwayStones - thank you do much for translating and posting -- fun read!

Quote
boogie1969
Why can't Keith tell her how to make his f-ucking drink himself, why does it have to go through the bodyguard? If she screws it up, does the bodyguard yell at her, by way of Keith, too?

I remember reading that Keith doesn't like to be touched by people (unless he touches them first), which I totally understand given that many people probably transgress boundaries all the time, and want to touch him. To me, this going through the bodyguard is similar. Whereas, for us, an air hostess would simply take our instructions for making a drink more or less in stride (unless we had intricate instructions, in which case they might covertly roll their eyes). But basically it would be a straightforward transaction of placing and order and getting what we want. In the case of Keith, it would become an opportunity for yet another person to try to engage in conversation with him. He just wants to sit on the plane and have his drink. And have the drink the way he wants it. And not have to have for the 16th million time and "amusing" conversation about how eccentric his request is.

I don't blame him. It must be increasingly exhausting to have wherever you are, whatever you're doing, to encounter people who transgress boundaries, touch you, talk to you, be overly personal with you. Especially if you're someone who considers himself a nice, guy, as Keith does. far more than he did in the '70s when the Stones rep was being as rude as possible.

It's nothing personal to this particular "air hostess." It's just a matter of ensuring that any ooohing, aaahing, commenting about his personal tastes happen off his radar screen. It's just not interesting for him to engage on this same stuff again and again. He just wants his drink not a conversation. Can we blame him?

Last thing - do you have an unusual name? or an accent? or an unusual tattoo? If so, you know what it's like every day for people to ask you over and over the same exact question. For them, it's brand new and novel. For you, you sometimes are up for this same convo, and sometimes you just don't want to. I don't have an unusual name, accent, or tattoo. But I've been with guys who have all of the above. And it's astonishing just being with them hearing strangers think they can just comment on them and the person is expected to be really engaging and amused. And these aren't even famous people.

So again -- I applaud Keith (and the rest of them) for putting whatever boundaries between them and anyone they need to!

- swiss



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010-05-09 02:33 by swiss.

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swiss
dear SwayStones - thank you do much for translating and posting -- fun read!

Quote
boogie1969
Why can't Keith tell her how to make his f-ucking drink himself, why does it have to go through the bodyguard? If she screws it up, does the bodyguard yell at her, by way of Keith, too?

I remember reading that Keith doesn't like to be touched by people (unless he touches them first), which I totally understand given that many people probably transgress boundaries all the time, and want to touch him. To me, this going through the bodyguard is similar. Whereas, for us, an air hostess would simply take our instructions for making a drink more or less in stride (unless we had intricate instructions, in which case they might covertly roll their eyes). But basically it would be a straightforward transaction of placing and order and getting what we want. In the case of Keith, it would become an opportunity for yet another person to try to engage in conversation with him. He just wants to sit on the plane and have his drink. And have the drink the way he wants it. And not have to have for the 16th million time and "amusing" conversation about how eccentric his request is.

I don't blame him. It must be increasingly exhausting to have wherever you are, whatever you're doing, to encounter people who transgress boundaries, touch you, talk to you, be overly personal with you. Especially if you're someone who considers himself a nice, guy, as Keith does. far more than he did in the '70s when the Stones rep was being as rude as possible.

It's nothing personal to this particular "air hostess." It's just a matter of ensuring that any ooohing, aaahing, commenting about his personal tastes happen off his radar screen. It's just not interesting for him to engage on this same stuff again and again. He just wants his drink not a conversation. Can we blame him?

Last thing - do you have an unusual name? or an accent? or an unusual tattoo? If so, you know what it's like every day for people to ask you over and over the same exact question. For them, it's brand new and novel. For you, you sometimes are up for this same convo, and sometimes you just don't want to. I don't have an unusual name, accent, or tattoo. But I've been with guys who have all of the above. And it's astonishing just being with them hearing strangers think they can just comment on them and the person is expected to be really engaging and amused. And these aren't even famous people.

So again -- I applaud Keith (and the rest of them) for putting whatever boundaries between them and anyone they need to!

- swiss

I see your point, and I understand some people don't like being touched and may even have a deep-seated phobia towards that. But flight attendants and others in the service industry are professionals, and know that they are not to get too casual or personal in their interactions, particularly with high-level clients. Often times, certain individuals in an organization are picked for a particular assignment, like the one described here, because they are known to be able to do their job properly regardless of who may be involved. They know not to cross particular boundaries, and to let a person like Keith "just sit on the plane and enjoy his drink". They don't last very long if they annoy anyone. It almost sounds like that is the case here, like this particular attendant, along with other crew, may have been chosen for their ability to be discrete and professional with so called VIPs.

While they may roll their eyes at you and I, they know the difference between an average person like us and a celebrity like Keith. They wouldn't keep their job for very long if they didn't act properly every time they encountered someone famous.

I think her description of her time with them and how things progressed, how it wasn't until later on that she got friendly with them, got pictures, etc., bears this out. If Keith was so friendly at the end, he could at least order his drink himself at the beginning. My feelings on that are not going to change.

Part of what I said also ties in with the whole set-up, the curtain, Jagger's way of being so particular about everything, having underlings speak for them. They sound so uptight, miserable, and, some of them, high-handed towards those around them.

And I do happen to have an unusual name, at least judging from most people's reaction to it. My name is Duke, and if I had a dime for every time I've been asked if that's my real name, I wouldn't be wasting my time on here. I've also had to endure people singing Duke of Earl to me, make references to John Wayne, and had to endure insulting remarks by inbred hillbillies who are not fans of the Duke University Blue Devils (I live in North Carolina). None of which have anything to do with why I was given the name. So I do know what it's like to go through the same round of crap every time I meet someone.

The fact is, the Stones have to wipe their own ass and put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone does. Maybe if they remembered this from time to time, they could sit together without having a curtain between them. And they could order their own damn drink.

Thanks Sway. Nice story.

"Soon as you've got something they send someone to try and take it away"

Quote
boogie1969

Quote
swiss
dear SwayStones - thank you do much for translating and posting -- fun read!

Quote
boogie1969
Why can't Keith tell her how to make his f-ucking drink himself, why does it have to go through the bodyguard? If she screws it up, does the bodyguard yell at her, by way of Keith, too?

I remember reading that Keith doesn't like to be touched by people (unless he touches them first), which I totally understand given that many people probably transgress boundaries all the time, and want to touch him. To me, this going through the bodyguard is similar. Whereas, for us, an air hostess would simply take our instructions for making a drink more or less in stride (unless we had intricate instructions, in which case they might covertly roll their eyes). But basically it would be a straightforward transaction of placing and order and getting what we want. In the case of Keith, it would become an opportunity for yet another person to try to engage in conversation with him. He just wants to sit on the plane and have his drink. And have the drink the way he wants it. And not have to have for the 16th million time and "amusing" conversation about how eccentric his request is.

I don't blame him. It must be increasingly exhausting to have wherever you are, whatever you're doing, to encounter people who transgress boundaries, touch you, talk to you, be overly personal with you. Especially if you're someone who considers himself a nice, guy, as Keith does. far more than he did in the '70s when the Stones rep was being as rude as possible.

It's nothing personal to this particular "air hostess." It's just a matter of ensuring that any ooohing, aaahing, commenting about his personal tastes happen off his radar screen. It's just not interesting for him to engage on this same stuff again and again. He just wants his drink not a conversation. Can we blame him?

Last thing - do you have an unusual name? or an accent? or an unusual tattoo? If so, you know what it's like every day for people to ask you over and over the same exact question. For them, it's brand new and novel. For you, you sometimes are up for this same convo, and sometimes you just don't want to. I don't have an unusual name, accent, or tattoo. But I've been with guys who have all of the above. And it's astonishing just being with them hearing strangers think they can just comment on them and the person is expected to be really engaging and amused. And these aren't even famous people.

So again -- I applaud Keith (and the rest of them) for putting whatever boundaries between them and anyone they need to!

- swiss

I see your point, and I understand some people don't like being touched and may even have a deep-seated phobia towards that. But flight attendants and others in the service industry are professionals, and know that they are not to get too casual or personal in their interactions, particularly with high-level clients. Often times, certain individuals in an organization are picked for a particular assignment, like the one described here, because they are known to be able to do their job properly regardless of who may be involved. They know not to cross particular boundaries, and to let a person like Keith "just sit on the plane and enjoy his drink". They don't last very long if they annoy anyone. It almost sounds like that is the case here, like this particular attendant, along with other crew, may have been chosen for their ability to be discrete and professional with so called VIPs.

While they may roll their eyes at you and I, they know the difference between an average person like us and a celebrity like Keith. They wouldn't keep their job for very long if they didn't act properly every time they encountered someone famous.

I think her description of her time with them and how things progressed, how it wasn't until later on that she got friendly with them, got pictures, etc., bears this out. If Keith was so friendly at the end, he could at least order his drink himself at the beginning. My feelings on that are not going to change.

Part of what I said also ties in with the whole set-up, the curtain, Jagger's way of being so particular about everything, having underlings speak for them. They sound so uptight, miserable, and, some of them, high-handed towards those around them.

And I do happen to have an unusual name, at least judging from most people's reaction to it. My name is Duke, and if I had a dime for every time I've been asked if that's my real name, I wouldn't be wasting my time on here. I've also had to endure people singing Duke of Earl to me, make references to John Wayne, and had to endure insulting remarks by inbred hillbillies who are not fans of the Duke University Blue Devils (I live in North Carolina). None of which have anything to do with why I was given the name. So I do know what it's like to go through the same round of crap every time I meet someone.

The fact is, the Stones have to wipe their own ass and put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone does. Maybe if they remembered this from time to time, they could sit together without having a curtain between them. And they could order their own damn drink.

boogie1969, that was so nicely argued -- I really enjoyed what you wrote I see your point. And also appreciate your name story, Duke.

I can only guess that the sheer glut of exposure to people who ought to know better but, as Dylan said in Idiot Wind--"just can't remember how to act/Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts"--makes them a little cagy.

Maybe they figure it's better to start out behind curtains and sending messages via servants (may as well be straightforward here), and later become friendlier with a few select people, then start off somewhat open then have to deal with someone being awestruck and--despite their training and best intentions--crossing boundaries and making things uncomfortable and awkward.

Better for them, maybe, to err on the side of caution and not risk people who work for them trying to take a little piece of them, than the other way. I'm sure they all made mistakes in this regard at various times when they were younger. So, I don't blame them. Although I would feel insulted and like they were being a bit "precious" if I were around them when they were hiding behind curtains, and speaking through proxies.